Thursday, May 10, 2007

Bill Gates visited my bed... LOL! OK - not for "THAT"... He gave me 3 million..

Bill Gates came by today to tell me to "get better".

I've been ill for the past couple of days and a little birdy told him to stop by.

And the kids opened the door and let him in.

Me - I think it would have been nicer if he had called in advance, I could have at least taken a shower. But I had enough strength to sit up and fluff my pillows a bit.

He told me that he wanted me to use this three million dollars any way I wanted to and simply left.

Odd fellow, that Bill Gates. Just trotting into my house and plopping down that kind of money like it's pocket change. I suppose he didn't want to catch anything virulently horrid. But he should know that Hepatitis C isn't contagious. Sigh. Sometimes you'd think one of the smartest people on earth would at least read up a little bit on diseases. But like most people, I suppose, HepC is not that well understood.

So he up and left and now I've got a lot of money to spend.

Goodness knows how I'm actually going to do it.

It's one thing to fantasize about spending money. But when it's actually in your hands what do you really want to do with it?


I think since my truck just broke down and my poor husband has been footing the bills lately and trying to keep up with the housework, since I just don't have the energy anymore or even the will power... Sheesh you should see the house... piles of junk everywhere, I'm beginning to think that my husband is a massive packrat. LOL! But I think... I think... That I'm going to just move the family --- it will be so much easier than cleaning.

I think I will find us a nice cozy ranch house - and buy both the kids decent cars. Nothing sporty or too expensive, you know they will just run them down. But something that will hold some value.

And I think I will put a little fund together for both of them.

Then I will buy myself a nice car. nothing fancy. Just something that won't break down in the next few weeks.

Seriously - I just bought (well.. ok the truck broke down and the hubby decided I needed a new car because he doesn't want me walking late at night with the bears here, so... he bought me a new Chevy HHR.) a new car.... So I'll probably have to give that new car away.

I'll pay off the bills - and put a good chunk of one million into some retirement investments.

I'm not sure exactly what - but since Bill Gates was such a nice guy, I'll make sure I buy some stock in his big company. Doesn't seem like he's done too terribly bad with it.

And then I'll just relax and write stories... I've always wanted to be a writer. You know... A published writer, artist, lyricist. I really do write. I may not have a college education, but I can write.

Words just seem to tumble out of me - that is, when I can function - and I'm not sicker than a dog.

But I think I'll buy myself a few good laptop computers - and some programs to keep me rolling with the writing and the graphic art work that I do.

And I'll go see a few more doctors. Not the ones the insurance company make me see - but some good ones. Maybe one that might know a lot about this disease and specializes in making the person feel better. Instead of just treating the disease - treat the side effects too - from the medication.

And then I'll just live life.

That sounds pretty darn good.

And now that he's left the house - I think I'll take a little nap.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Bill Gates Visited me at Work today..

As I was talking on the phone - today, Bill Gates came in and visited me.

I had been researching him online and he wanted to know why I was so interested in him. He felt like perhaps I may be a stalker - until I explained to him about my blog. And he listened patiently - nodding at all the appropriate times.

I, of course, explained that this entire blog, excepting items about my personal life are all fantasy. The rest - like meeting him - him giving me three million dollars... those things are just dreams that make my imagination soar - keeping me alive with inventions and ideas. Not to impress him... but to impress myself.

He looks at me a bit strangely and Bill Gates nods his head slightly and one of his body guards steps forward with a briefcase. Inside the briefcase are stacked 100.00 bills... Just like in the movies.

Bill Gates tells me that if I had said I expected him to give me the money he would have shook my hand and left - but that instead, because I had told him that I was just exercising my imagination - he had decided to pay me to see which of the fantasies I truly followed.

Needless to say - my jaw hit the floor.

I mean - who in their right mind would read a blog full of nonsensical items and actually pay attention to it?

Well... I'm here to tell you.... Bill Gates would.

I still don't know which of my fantasies to follow through on. And I have so many more...

I'm going to ponder on this fantasy for awhile...

Meanwhile - back to work I go.

Tonight I'm tired... So Bill Gates - your donation will get me a fluffy bed... without feathers mind you.

Bill Gates, I'm sorry - my imagination isn't running wild right now with the thoughts of you handing me that three million dollars.

I mean - I'd probably just buy myself one of those sleep by numbers beds and curl up in it for a few days... Dreaming... about having energy.

Have you ever had a night where when you slept - you felt more tired that before you actually fell asleep? Well folks, that's me on an hourly basis.

I feel tired... Worn out. Old.

But that Sleep by numbers bed sounds nice.

I know I'm only 4o - but my poor body has been through the ringer the last 8 months. So I'm going to toddle off to my bed...

And you know that thing about dark energy?

Trust me... It's my secret. I may never sell it --- I may never tell anyone about it...

But it's logical.

And somewhere in my distant past before I became a run away... I was labeled a genius. I may not be college educated - but I have a fantastic imagination. And I may not know everything in the world. But I know enough to be logical.

And yeah ---- one day ---- when we're all old.... older than 40, that is.... Someone will remember they read my words (as if anyone is truly reading this - ha ha)... and they WILL remember something about what I said...

And they --- and they alone --- will know that I could have saved the world... LMAO!

How funny.

Anyhow - some of what I say is serious... Things about me. Brutally honest. My fantasies about Bill Gates handing me 3 million bucks... Well --- we can all dream... And you know... Dark Energy... Well - it's logical... and it is... truly is... something I thought up and believe could work - I just don't have the scientific background or labs to make it work. But the Theory... well that's mine.


Sunday, May 6, 2007

Bill Gates just handed me three Million Dollars... Today's Fantasy

Bill Gates just walked into my work, introduced himself and said I was worthy of 3 million dollars. He handed me a check, signed by him (and about 4 other bank representatives).

He had a police escort, and men walking around with little microphones on their wrists - and funny ear pieces on. Those men were wearing dark sunglasses and dark suits.

I kept thinking they better not try to come to the house, wearing all that Armani stuff, because I'll tell you what... Their suits would be covered in white German Shepherd hair.

All of the customers at the store in front of my work stood around and cheered as I held the check. As if some hand of God had just descended upon me.

Do you know how many times my cell phone rang? I mean - news travels fast in a small town, but this is ridiculous...

So Bill Gates hands me this money and I'm thinking, WOW... I've been a good mother, a decent wife... A lousy housekeeper... a great cook... a semi decent employee, but I'm nobody special. Why me? And he told me because one of my ideas... About Dark Energy... was going to make me... and HIM rich.

He also told me I was a fantastic writer - and this three million was just the beginning of what I was going to see in my life. And he shook my hand again and invited me to join him in New York.

Now, I've only been to the outskirts of New York. But when someone asks me to New York, I'm thinking the City.... right? So I say... Give me a few moments. I've got some responsibilities to take care of.

I call my boss and explain that I'm about ready to get very ill. (They're used to this... I've been on chemo for awhile - and still having some of the massive side effects.) But I tell him, this is kind of a permanent ill. And that I'll probably not be back any time soon. However, I tell him that I will assist in drawing up the schematics of my never-ending job. And I pass the phones over to the local PD.

I grab my worn out jacket - because even in mid-spring, it's still a bit chilly in the air. And my huge purse that really has nothing in it but trash and makeup. But it's my trash and makeup. I'm a little disorganized. Call it adult ADHD. Call it whatever you want. But I'm unmedicated - and unfocused - unless something keeps my attention.

I take a last look at my prison cell of a job - that has been thankless - other than the fact that I know I have made a difference in people's lives. Because while I may be a prolific writer - I'm not very good at presenting myself to others. Maybe it's a social phobia - or maybe because I'm just too freaking honest - and I mean what I say --- not what you think I mean... but what I say...

I have however helped people to live - saved property - saved lives, comforted those who have had those they loved die... and I have upheld the laws of the land. Thanklessly.

So Bill Gates stands there patiently as I look back at the bleak office space through the glass window... And he drives me to the airport - where my family is already there, excited to see me.

We get on this incredible jet plane. Hell I don't even know what kind of plane it is, but there are comfortable chairs that recline into beds and televisions - a full bar, computers and everything you could imagine. There's enough room to walk around --- and the bathroom - Oh my goodness, you should see it! It has amazing buttons that my daughter, who is 10, has become intimately fascinated with. I leave her in there, because it stops all the questions.

And Bill Gates turns to me with a bemused smile on his face, as I wipe the leftover cheeto stains on my worn out jeans. And he asks me how I came up with the concept of Dark Energy.

And I said simple. Yin and Yang. Opposites.

And he kind of smiled at me.

He told me that I would probably become the richest woman in the world, except for his wife. Just for having that idea.

An unlimited power supply source that has no negative impact.

Then he turned a bit serious and asked if I realized how lucky I was to have him understand what it was I was talking about - instead of the government. I looked at him and asked what he was talking about. He said the Government would have taken my idea and thrown me away. Instead Bill Gates had enough pull to make it a private enterprise. And it was a way to save the world.

So - I thought about it. I think Bill Gates just saved my life.

It could happen, you know?

I'm at work, staring at a pile of papers that I know I have to bust a move and do. But the longer they sit there, the larger the pile becomes...

Three Million to Dream By - And to be Extravagant With


Now here's my fantasy of Bill Gates handing me three million tonight... Before I crash out...

See... He hands me the check... The bank knows it's coming.

We pay off all of our bills on the spot - and I go down to the local Auto Dealership (because there is only one on this island - and hey... we have to support the local economy.) And I buy one of the nicest cars.

To replace my Ford that died tonight. Sigh... real life gets in the way of my fantasy... so let's pretend the truck didn't die --- let's just remember we're living in my fantasy world for a moment.

And I pay cash for the car - giving the dealer a small tip to go have fun with.

Then - as I drive off the lot - I drive out to the nicer areas of our town and I decide on a house that I've always liked but knew I'd never be able to afford.

I take the real estate agent with me and I knock on the door.

I hand the owner enough money to make them pick up their personal items and just leave...

And I walk in...

And I take a luxurious bath... Scented bubble bath... And I look up at my hubby and think... Finally - this is what we needed...

And I have him bring me the phone...

And we make plans to go to Las Vegas for a week of unihibited gambling --- of course only taking 50,000.00 to play with - because you know you're going to lose it... But being treated like royalty for once... Instead of feeling like a deadbeat.

And seeing all the shows there! Oh - I've wanted to see the Blue Man Group for so long. I love the arts...

And then - flying to Broadway to see the plays there.

I've always wanted to see some Broadway plays --- I've always wanted to go to a formal Play and sit quietly - in awe of the performers.

And I'll be in a high class hotel - in New York - in a nice scented Bubble bath...

And I'll put on one of those fancy robes - like Axel Foley gave the PD officers... and jump into bed... With my hair wet....

And snuggle under neath the covers...

Which is where I'll pick up this fantasy for real... As I go crawl into bed.

Good Night!

And Not to mention - I'd buy myself a damn new computer - this one is missin the ryisdfzm keys and doesn't connect well to the cable thanks to my beautiful daughter. *GRIN* ahhh well - that's the way life goes. We all just adapt...

Now where is that bubble bath?

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Three Million Dollars - Hydroponic Vegetable Farm


I'm at work. And the coffee tastes horrible. And I keep thinking about life in general.

I went to go grab a lunch and I was terribly dissapointed in the lettuce within my meal. It was wilted, sad looking... Unvibrant. (I know... it's not a word. But I made it into one for this blog.)

So that sparked me into another fantasy about Bill Gates, my buddy, handing me three million dollars, free and clear, to do with as I wished...

And it was a good one.

I live in a small town. In a rural area. One that is accessible by plane. An island archipelago. Below the arctic circle, but not by much - in Alaska.

Where I work, I get to see a store from my front window. What I do, is unimportant, at least to me, but I will say that my job involves criminal activity and helping people.

The store that I get to see is one of the few stores in town. It's a conglomerate corporate store. And it does not sell fresh fruits and vegetables.

The store next to it, however does. At astronomical prices. A gallon of milk can go for 7 dollars. 2 pounds of ground beef for 12 dollars. It's quite amazing. But this store, while it does sell fresh fruit and vegetables, the vegetables and fruit aren't necessarily fresh.

The tomatoes have crystals inside them. The Zucchini are bitter and the bananas are always bruised. The lettuce is almost always wilted and the mushrooms are always darkened and already shrinking by the time they make it home.

While the town I live in has absolute beauty - it lacks in the fresh produce area.

So that means there isn't a great lot of nutrition. If you can afford the prices, you don't necessarily want the food - because it isn't of the best quality. It's the stuff California supermarkets would throw away. But, because it is here... we deal with it the best we can.

An average family of four (like mine) spends over 1500.00 a month in food. And that's eating Top Ramen too!

Which is cool - because the beauty of the land makes up for it. The lack of crime makes up for it --- and the pristine quality of life makes up for it... I guess.

But today, Bill Gates hands me three million dollars.

I buy some property just a little back in the woods (which means just down the street) and I build a beautiful Greenhouse that can support Hydroponic Fruit and Vegetables.

I buy all of the Hydroponic Equipment and I start growing the most luscious vegetables.

Sweet beefsteak tomatoes that drip juice and seeds down your arm as you bite into them. Zuchini's as large as a watermelon that you can bake meatloaf inside.

Precious onions and gorgeous mushrooms (which don't need hydroponics, just a little manure, if you will...)

Splendid canteloupes that are succulent with each bite, watermelons that bring memories of 4th of July Fireworks. Green Beans that snap and Peas that roll delicately into your mouth.

Lettuce and spinach that are E-Coli free and tasty. Bell peppers and chili peppers that snap with crispness.

Lemons and Oranges that make your mouth water.

And I build a little roadside stand that will allow me to sell the veggies to passerby who want fresh, healthy foods.

And I eat great foods at home.

I think a business like that would actually do well here. But to start it up would be a phenomenal cost that your average person could not afford.

I do have to admit, the town is dying financially here. Perhaps a business like that could bring a little life back into this town. Not only nutritionally, but maybe with a few extra jobs - and maybe better foods at the restaurants - bringing in more customers.

Ahhhh that three million dollars would have to stretch far.

Did I mention that I would build a small, comfortable ranch home right next to the greenhouse?

I don't need a mansion.

Just something comfortable for the four of us.

Without Burgundy carpets.

Back to work - and my wilted lettuce, I go.

Today's Three Million Bucks ~ Hepatitis C

I woke up.

I wasn't enrolled in school. I don't have a degree on my wall or a maid cleaning my laundry.

In fact, I have piles of laundry, piles of dishes and the only thing I had the energy to grab to eat was chicken noodle soup in a box and 2 Berries & Cream Dr. Peppers. Rolling through the house, trying desperately to get ready for work, I realize the dog has started shedding.

She's a German Shepherd that we rescued from the pound. She had been severely abused, but has learned to not be so skittish since she's been with us. We're a good family, if somewhat dysfunctional at times.

But we have burgundy carpet. My idiotic idea of what was supposed to look good ---- and not have stains.

Yeah - slap me upside the head for that thought process. Because while it won't show wine stains... It will, however, show every single microscopic speck of dust or hair or fungus... Or whatever it is that is dragged in by the dog, the cat or the kids.

And while stumbling up the stairs, brush in one hand, mascara in the other, lipstick in my teeth to switch out as soon as I get done with the eyes... I realized I'm exhausted. And I don't want to go to work.

But of course, I must.

Now. I know I have a good reason to be exhausted.

I just got off of HepC Chemo treatment.

Yeah. You read that right. I have Hepatitis C.

NO. I am not a druggie. Never was. Never will be.
NO. I am not a prostitute. Never was. Never will be.

We're not exactly sure where I got the HepC from. But I am Type 3a. We think there is a possibility that I contracted it from a shot of Rhogham. But I don't have the money to get a lawyer to go through all the records to find out if anyone else has this type of HepC from those batches of Rhogham. So - in reality - it doesn't matter. But... we're not in reality. We're in my dreams... right? Where Bill Gates is handing me a 3 million dollar check to do what I please with.

I just finished a round of Pegasys and Copegus (the price on that treatment alone was astronomical.) So that's pretty much what I'm exhausted from. The treatment was one of the worst things I've ever done, yet, I'm still alive and I'm supposed to be feeling better. Right? Well, I am an optimist.

I managed to go work - most of the time. I managed to not kill my family - or myself. And I also managed to drop the viral load to a non-existant number, non-detectable. I'm just so damned tired all of the time and have no energy to get up and clean the house.

And yes... I know. I have kids and a husband. But more on them in another post - let's just suffice it to say that my once pristinely clean house, over the period of the last year has become a distinct disaster area ready for condemnation. I mean - it isn't so bad that we have to move instead of cleaning it... although that's a thought. But it is bad enough that I wouldn't invite anyone but my close friends over... and only after I did some cleaning.

Needless to say - not a lot of people have come over recently. *GRIN*

Anyhow - Back to being handed that three million dollar check by Bill Gates.

I think right now, I'd like to take my family on a long vacation. About 2 weeks at Disneyland - San Diego - La Jolla - Coronado... And just relax.

I'm a Theme Park Freak. I love roller coasters and the theme park feel. I always have loved them... They make my senses explode into vibrancy and they give me energy and excitement.

I love beaches too. I might be a bit odd on it - I don't necessarily like getting in the water - but I love being on the beach... and listening to the waves pound on the shore. I love Badmitton and Volleyball on the beach. I love rings of fire - and stories told while listening to the waves. Barbeques - and coolers full of food and cold drinks.

So with this three million - we're going to take a much needed vacation - to some of my favorite spots.

We'll stay in the Hotel Del Coronado and dine at the Chartroom, if it still exists.

We'll stay at nice places - and visit everywhere we desire. Stopping at cafes for tea and lunches with little finger sandwiches.

We'll take a tour over to that little Island and visit the Zoo and Sea World.

And most of all, we'll just enjoy being together.

Maybe do a little shopping at Fashion Valley Mall... If it is still open - if not - we'll hit the downtown malls...

Then we'll come home to regroup and get the kids back in school.

And I'll set up a financial investment plan - so we can be comfortable for a little while.

And I'll donate a half million to The Hepatitis C Foundation.

And I'll go see doctors to take care of my symptoms.

AND - I'll get a maid/butler/chef who will help me keep my house clean, my laundry washed - and cook me healthy, decent foods that taste good.

And I'll get on The Hepatitis C board and find out why so many people know nothing about this disease - and why no one seems to be funding it.

Well, that's today's dream.

I'll have another dream for tonight - to be sure.

Three Million...


Three million dollars sounds like so very much money. Is it?

What would I do today...

I haven't slept yet, so my mind is a bit hazy... I'd like to think that if I had to spend the Three Million Dollars that Bill Gates just gave me (in my fantasy)... That I'd have a clear picture of what I'd like to do with it.

But today - all I can think of... well it's pretty boring.

Like I said in the side ABOUT Me section... This Blog will tell all about me as a person... and why I would want to do --- whatever it is that particular post --- that I want to do --- with the Three Million Dollars that Bill Gates gives me.

So today... Hmmmm...

Today I think I would pay a college tuition for myself.

That college tuition would include massive tutoring from someone who could actually teach me in order to get me caught up.

And it would include personal instruction... At least until I could handle a full classroom with tons of other people.

What would I study --- hmmmmmm..... I think I would probably want to major in something computer related. No... not because Bill Gates gave me the three million...

In fact, I'll have to explain about me - in order to explain why I would actually study computer "stuff".

First, I'm a 40 year old woman. I'm married and have one 10 year old daughter, and my husband has an 18 year old son from a previous marriage.

We both work. And while we both have decent jobs and make ok money, it's never enough money for everything we want in our fairly simple life.

As a young teenager, I ran away from home.... (Long drawn out story - and maybe if you continue reading my blog, you'll be able to piece it all together to form a cohesive idea of who I really am... but for now, it suffices to have a brief run down - at least for today's dreams.)

I remember going in to a Radio Shack store - and there was this t.v. looking box, with green writing and a keyboard. I remember no one understanding how it worked and I remember sitting down and reading the manual - and learning after a half hour of reading that I could make the computer write the word "RUN" across the screen 100 times by typing in a specific series of codes.

And Oh my Goodness! That computer was expensive! But they would let me come in and play on it briefly... And the guy there always had a doughnut or something.

Eventually I moved away from that area, being a run away, but I will always remember that guy and how nice he actually was to let some ragamuffin kid sit in his store - out of the rain.

Anyhow - I ended up dropping out of school to support myself - because working full time, pretending you were 18 - and getting roomates, etc. just didn't work well with going to school.

I won't say those were glory years, because they most certainly weren't. But they were interesting, and they did create who I am today. But that one instance of that computer kept me interested in computers and every chance I got, I would play with anyone's computer system whenever someone I knew had one.

And that kept me pretty up to date with using programs - and playing games - and kept me ahead of the learning curve on most things.

I was a pretty smart kid growing up.

I did eventually get my GED - in fact not too long ago - but I didn't get to go to college. I never had the time and the money combined to get there. But I always read - and I didn't allow myself to stagnate.

I ended up working and bought myself a computer when they were astronomical in price. But I saved for it. Back when Windows just started. And Compuserve was the only internet capable thing.

For hours (and quite a lot of Long Distance charges) I learned that there was an AMAZING world out there, talking to people and playing text based games.

Flash Forward to when my daughter was 3.

Online they were offering computer tech classes - I'd self taught myself how to operate many programs - learning because I loved playing around with graphics and games... And I told my husband that I'd like to take the computer tech course. (We live in a remote area of the USA so the classes weren't readily available where we are.)

The cost was way out of our range, unless I wanted to get a loan. I didn't qualify for a grant...

And he said no.

I knew I'd be good at it - and that I would finish it. But it just didn't fit our budget.

I tried explaining that I thought we could profit off of it - because if I got certified, then I could get a great job, paying great money - and it would be worth it. But the answer was no.

And I put the idea on the back burner.

Now I'm 40. And I wish, with all my heart that I had forced the issue. Because now, I'm feeling too old to try and do it.

But in my fantasy, Bill Gates just handed me three million dollars!

So today, as soon as I finish typing this out.. I'm going to go to the best tutoring college, and I'm going to go through that computer class.


I'm going to learn computers both inside and out.

From the very beginning - to the end.

I am going to find someone who can teach me how to build computers on the hardware side... How they work - which hardware pieces fit where - and why...

And then I'm going to take tutoring starting at the very basics - how to write code... And I'm going to learn computer code - so that iI can create programs.

And I want to learn how to use Graphics Programs - so that I can do fantastic artwork.

And then I'm going to create my own games - geared for women and girls.....

I can imagine those games now!

And while I'm studying - my family will live comfortably - and I will be very content with the upgrade to my life... feeling secure in the knowledge that I am creating a comfortable future for all of us.

One where I am confident, secure and ready to change the world a little.

And today - that is my dream.

I'm off to bed.

I can't wait to figure out tomorrow's dream.

What Would I Do If Bill Gates Gave Me Three Million Dollars...

I've always wondered what it would be like to be filthy rich.

Not that three million dollars is filthy rich - but it is more than I'll ever have at any point in my life.

So I thought I would start a blog - about what I would actually DO... with Three Million Dollars... If it was handed to me.

And I want to create a world for that fantasy...

I want to write about what I would do in my little fantasy world --- and see if my fantasy changes on a daily basis depending on my mood... Or if it would stay the same each day/week or month that I choose to post.

I'll probably be brutally honest about myself - and if you've stumbled on to this blog - it's ok to be bored... In fact you don't have to bother reading any further... Because this will probably bore you to tears... Actually, screw that... Here's a tissue. Go get yourself some coffee or tea... and start fantasizing with me.

Cause right now... In my fantasy, Bill Gates just handed me a 3 million dollar check... And my dream world is just beginning.