Saturday, May 5, 2007

Three Million...


Three million dollars sounds like so very much money. Is it?

What would I do today...

I haven't slept yet, so my mind is a bit hazy... I'd like to think that if I had to spend the Three Million Dollars that Bill Gates just gave me (in my fantasy)... That I'd have a clear picture of what I'd like to do with it.

But today - all I can think of... well it's pretty boring.

Like I said in the side ABOUT Me section... This Blog will tell all about me as a person... and why I would want to do --- whatever it is that particular post --- that I want to do --- with the Three Million Dollars that Bill Gates gives me.

So today... Hmmmm...

Today I think I would pay a college tuition for myself.

That college tuition would include massive tutoring from someone who could actually teach me in order to get me caught up.

And it would include personal instruction... At least until I could handle a full classroom with tons of other people.

What would I study --- hmmmmmm..... I think I would probably want to major in something computer related. No... not because Bill Gates gave me the three million...

In fact, I'll have to explain about me - in order to explain why I would actually study computer "stuff".

First, I'm a 40 year old woman. I'm married and have one 10 year old daughter, and my husband has an 18 year old son from a previous marriage.

We both work. And while we both have decent jobs and make ok money, it's never enough money for everything we want in our fairly simple life.

As a young teenager, I ran away from home.... (Long drawn out story - and maybe if you continue reading my blog, you'll be able to piece it all together to form a cohesive idea of who I really am... but for now, it suffices to have a brief run down - at least for today's dreams.)

I remember going in to a Radio Shack store - and there was this t.v. looking box, with green writing and a keyboard. I remember no one understanding how it worked and I remember sitting down and reading the manual - and learning after a half hour of reading that I could make the computer write the word "RUN" across the screen 100 times by typing in a specific series of codes.

And Oh my Goodness! That computer was expensive! But they would let me come in and play on it briefly... And the guy there always had a doughnut or something.

Eventually I moved away from that area, being a run away, but I will always remember that guy and how nice he actually was to let some ragamuffin kid sit in his store - out of the rain.

Anyhow - I ended up dropping out of school to support myself - because working full time, pretending you were 18 - and getting roomates, etc. just didn't work well with going to school.

I won't say those were glory years, because they most certainly weren't. But they were interesting, and they did create who I am today. But that one instance of that computer kept me interested in computers and every chance I got, I would play with anyone's computer system whenever someone I knew had one.

And that kept me pretty up to date with using programs - and playing games - and kept me ahead of the learning curve on most things.

I was a pretty smart kid growing up.

I did eventually get my GED - in fact not too long ago - but I didn't get to go to college. I never had the time and the money combined to get there. But I always read - and I didn't allow myself to stagnate.

I ended up working and bought myself a computer when they were astronomical in price. But I saved for it. Back when Windows just started. And Compuserve was the only internet capable thing.

For hours (and quite a lot of Long Distance charges) I learned that there was an AMAZING world out there, talking to people and playing text based games.

Flash Forward to when my daughter was 3.

Online they were offering computer tech classes - I'd self taught myself how to operate many programs - learning because I loved playing around with graphics and games... And I told my husband that I'd like to take the computer tech course. (We live in a remote area of the USA so the classes weren't readily available where we are.)

The cost was way out of our range, unless I wanted to get a loan. I didn't qualify for a grant...

And he said no.

I knew I'd be good at it - and that I would finish it. But it just didn't fit our budget.

I tried explaining that I thought we could profit off of it - because if I got certified, then I could get a great job, paying great money - and it would be worth it. But the answer was no.

And I put the idea on the back burner.

Now I'm 40. And I wish, with all my heart that I had forced the issue. Because now, I'm feeling too old to try and do it.

But in my fantasy, Bill Gates just handed me three million dollars!

So today, as soon as I finish typing this out.. I'm going to go to the best tutoring college, and I'm going to go through that computer class.


I'm going to learn computers both inside and out.

From the very beginning - to the end.

I am going to find someone who can teach me how to build computers on the hardware side... How they work - which hardware pieces fit where - and why...

And then I'm going to take tutoring starting at the very basics - how to write code... And I'm going to learn computer code - so that iI can create programs.

And I want to learn how to use Graphics Programs - so that I can do fantastic artwork.

And then I'm going to create my own games - geared for women and girls.....

I can imagine those games now!

And while I'm studying - my family will live comfortably - and I will be very content with the upgrade to my life... feeling secure in the knowledge that I am creating a comfortable future for all of us.

One where I am confident, secure and ready to change the world a little.

And today - that is my dream.

I'm off to bed.

I can't wait to figure out tomorrow's dream.

1 comment:

Pandora said...

Thanks for writing this.